Monday, December 06, 2004
To Texas and back again
On Thursday I drove down to Austin. By Saturday morning at 11:20 I was wandering around HEB (there are two within 5 miles of my new apartment) wondering what I was doing in Austin, why I had just signed a lease, and why I thought I could start making big decisions all of the sudden.

I do not make decisions.

To choose a major, I chose a different one at each college I applied to.

To choose a college, I waited until I finally got a Hail Mary scholarship on the day I had to make a decision.

To choose a confirmation name, I put several saints in a box (their names, not the actual saints) closed my eyes, and picked one.

To choose what to do after college graduation I sat there. Then my parents told me I had to leave and I did.

To choose what to really do after college graduation I happened hear from my mom about a library school at UNT. I happened to apply. I happend to get in and I am now almost done. But it was all pretty much on a lark.

I do not make decisions and the fact that I decided on my own to move to Austin scares me. I am so excited. I have an apartment and an HEB (TWO!!!) and church and DG and friends and school and work and more school and substituting. I am so excited. But I also know, if I fail, I only have myself to blame. I put myself in this position. I chose it and I have to deal with the consequences.


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